


there will come soft rains

by svatantrata



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-21
Updated: 2019-06-21
Packaged: 2020-05-15 18:18:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19301188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/svatantrata/pseuds/svatantrata
Summary: Everything leaves him with this nagging itch, really. He knows that there's something missing--looks over at their toothbrushes, cloistered together in that Moomin mug by the sink--missing--he cleans up the shards of broken glass still left from last night, wincing when one cuts into the flesh of his palm--and perhaps, completely lost.(Or: Love is the only exam that Kun ever fails.)





	there will come soft rains

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).
  * Inspired by [you have 90 minutes to complete](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/491926) by R.A.. 



> lily!! this is for you, my favorite kunilist <3333 thank you for being such a positive fandom presence and writing such cool fics! i remember you telling me once that you liked experimental fics, so here is this... mess T___T at least it's kunil? italicized are lines from the poem. title from "there will come soft rains" by ray bradbury. thank you vy for betaing!

_Have you ever been in love? Circle your answer._

_(a) Yes_

_(b) I can still smell her shampoo on my pillow_

_(c) I can still taste her toothpaste in my mouth_

 

The day after Taeil storms out of their apartment, everything is grey. Kun opens the shades, and the light filters in with a sickly waver. It's raining, now, but not hard enough to beat a rhythm against the walls and make a home in his body. It's the type of rain that leaves him unsatisfied.

Everything leaves him with this nagging itch, really. He knows that there's something missing--looks over at their toothbrushes, cloistered together in that Moomin mug by the sink-- _missing_ \--he cleans up the shards of broken glass still left from last night, wincing when one cuts into the flesh of his palm--and perhaps, completely lost.

The first day is alright. Kun closes the shades and stays at home, enveloped in the darkness. At night, he tosses and turns until he ends up on Taeil's side of the bed. It's too cold, too lonely without Taeil's gentle smile and warm presence to soothe him to sleep.

Kun wakes up with his face pressed against Taeil's pillow. It smells like his shampoo, the fresh strawberry-scented one that Kun bought for his birthday.

Kun hates (loves) it.

 

 

 

 

 

_2\. Do you understand what you’ve done?_

_(a) I said the only thing I promised I never would_

_(b) She looked beautiful and I didn’t tell her_

_(c) No_

 

It's a Monday, which means that Kun needs to attend work. It's a thankless, boring job, but Kun doesn't mind being a software developer. _Such a cushy position_ , Taeil had said when Kun told him. _I guess I know who's going to be paying the bills, huh?_ It works late hours, though. They had fought about that a lot.

The whole day is spent staring at the shiny screen of his computer, checking the time, and gazing out at the grey sky in between those two tasks. When Kun manages to make it out of work before 8 pm, a record for him, the sun is still setting. The clouds have cleared up for a moment, goldenrod in the sky, and it's a clear contrast from the early-morning weather. Kun takes a moment to marvel at it--to marvel that the sky isn't at its usual post-sunset pollution-filled haze--before rushing home. He's so fast with fumbling for his keys that he nearly drops them twice out of excitement, opening the door to find--

 

 

 

Nothing. 

There's no one there. Everything is just as he left it, lights off and a half-empty cup of coffee left on the counter.

 

 

 

 

 

Taeil returns three days later, clearing the apartment of his belongings when Kun is still at work. All that's left as a reminder of their relationship are their matching toothbrushes in the sink and the polaroids taped to the fridge. At night, the rain sounds as if it is trying to claw its way into Kun's room. Taeil's scent fades from his pillow in a matter of weeks. 

 

 

 

 

 

_3\. It’s been raining for three days and you see her at a bus stop three hours away from your house. If her bus comes at 8:34 and yours comes at 9:15 then you’ll both get to your homes by 10._

 

Kun's friends are worried about him. One morning, Ten drags him out for an early morning breakfast at the nearest coffee shop.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Ten asks, normal smiles and jokes gone. His expression is completely serious, but more than that--worried. "You never respond to our texts anymore--if I didn't knock on your door--"

"I'm fine," Kun interrupts. "Seriously." In truth, he's so tired from waking up an hour earlier than usual that it's hard to blink his eyes open. Even having the smallest bite of the croissant he ordered makes him feel a little nauseous. Looking into Ten's wide, concerned eyes only magnifies that feel tenfold.

Kun steps out of the coffee shop as soon as he can, shutting his eyes as he leaves. He can feel drops of rainwater fall against his closed eyelids. He's fine. Completely, totally _fine_.

He opens his eyes, and then--

 

 

 

_If her bus comes at 9:15 and yours comes at 10:34 then why are you waiting for a bus in the rain?_

And _then_ \--

He sees Taeil, walking to work. It's raining, and it's been days since that last fight, and Taeil is right _there_.

Kun thinks of calling out, but before he can Taeil rounds the corner and vanishes out of sight. By the time Kun has sprinted over to that same corner, Taeil is nowhere to be found. It hurts, just a little.

 

 

 

 

 

_4\. Define two (2):_

_Love | The way the sun hits her hair at six in the morning  | Beauty | The moment of silence after your heart shatters_

 

In secondary school, he had been one of the top students in his class, barely spending time on anything other than his studies. He tried to change this when he entered college. Within a couple of months, Kun met Taeil, so early in his college experience that he was still studying math.

Here's the thing: Kun had switched to a computer science major because he wanted to be successful, but mathematics will always be one of the subjects he loves the most. There's something about a computer screen--the  _waiting to reconnect_ at the top of his page when he doesn't have wifi, the blue-light glare--that shrivels something within him entirely. 

Kun still remembers the way he had vacillated over the decision, and underneath all of that, Taeil's stabilizing presence. "Make the choice that's right," Taeil had said. He hesitated, then added: "Just remember that money should never be the means to an end. It's meaningless if you don't know what to do with it."

Here's the thing: Taeil works as a choral teacher at the nearby high school. Kun thinks it must be terrible, having to spend so much time with teenagers--the gremlins, as Taeil so affectionately refers to them from time to time--but Taeil genuinely enjoys it.

"I don't think I'd be able without music in my life," Taeil confessed to him. It was late, and they were a little tipsy off of the wine Ten had gifted to them for Kun's birthday. Kun remembers holding onto Taeil's waist like a lifeline, Taeil's fingers on his shoulders, the two of them swaying to nothing at all. "Don't you have something like that?"

"Yeah," Kun had breathed, eyes darting away from Taeil's expectant face. He glowed in the night, as real as a human could be. Kun felt as if he was watching from behind a screen, everything simulated and too good to be true. 

"What is it?" Taeil had asked. They stopped swaying.

"I'll tell you tomorrow," Kun had promised, knowing fully well that Taeil would forget by the next morning.

 

 

 

 

 

_6\. True or False:_

_You love her. ____

 

In some ways, mathematics and computer science are the same. There's a straightforward answer, most of the time, even if it takes troubleshooting to reach it. There's no grey area, just black and white. Like the binary that computers use, all zeroes and ones and nothing else. 

Humans aren't like that. Kun wishes he could have read Taeil like lines of code, wishes that Kun could have  _comprehended_ him as easily as the programs that he writes at work. They disagreed a lot, sometimes. Mostly stupid things, in the grand scheme of things, but Taeil didn't enjoy hearing Kun's existentialist explanations for everything.

 

 

 

 

 

_It ended long before either of you said anything. ____

 

 

It was a Saturday night when Taeil walked out on him. The day before, Kun had left work early to look at wedding rings. He still has the name of his favorite one scrawled onto the back of a sticky-note, crumpled up and shoved into the bottom of a drawer where no one can see.

 

 

 

 

 

_You can’t regret a single moment that you had her. ____

 

Why is he remembering this?

 

 

 

 

 

 

_It was her fault. ____

 

Ah, yes: because humans can't be predicted.

 

 

 

 

_If you were given a second chance, you’d turn right and never meet her. ____

 

And this, too, is the same. Kun meets Taeil again in a grocery store. It's summer solstice. They're both reaching for the same brand of orange juice that Kun introduced to Taeil when they first moved in together.

"How are you?" Taeil asks, biting down on his bottom lip. Kun tracks the motion with his eyes, before realizing that he shouldn't and looking back into Taeil's eyes--except that's a danger zone, too, not with the way that Taeil stares at him in that combination of softness and regret--

Kun looks down at the floor. "I'm fine," he says, shifting his weight from one foot to the other

"Maybe we should talk," Taeil offers. His hands wring together, nervous; Kun had forgotten about that. Had forgotten that Taeil is a little anxious, sometimes, because he never had been with Kun.

"Maybe we should," Kun replies.

 

 

 

 

 

_If you were given a second chance, you’d kiss her in the rain the Sunday before it ended. ____

 

 

They look up at the sky together when they leave the grocery store. "It stopped raining," Taeil notes, a hint of surprise in his voice. He's smiling, and when he catches Kun's eye, he begins to smile too. 

"It did," Kun says. It's a relief. 

**Author's Note:**

> [twt](http://twitter.com/mathmxrk) / [cc](http://curiouscat.me/mathmxrk) / thank you for reading! comments would really be appreciated <3 i hope this made sense T__T


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